“You are missing out on so much in life. What is wrong with you? ”
My answer – “I have all that I need according to His riches in glory.”
Remembering fondly this day in 1977 when I got married. I was scared, excited, confused, insecure, but definitely in love. I still love my ex husband, I just didn’t like his behavior. 🙂 Love was not enough though. We divorced in 1995.
The sacrament of marriage is a holy covenant with God, woman and man. In our society, marriage may have two facets; one civil (legal contract, may be broken by man) and one spiritual/religious (covenant with God that may not be broken by man). The civil contract of my marriage was severed in 1995, but the spiritual contract is “until death do us part,” and has not been severed. As a devout Catholic, the church blessed my marriage and our union was considered a “sacrament.” As a sacrament, it is not something that I will ever view as being null or void.
Society needs to realize that not everyone should be married. Some of us are far happier as single people. The socialization is strong that it is not “normal” to be alone, but the reality is that so many of us are far happier alone and should not be made to feel inadequate or “not normal” if we choose to remain single.
I was never meant to be married. I believe that. I do not regret the fruits of my marriage, which were wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, talented, children. I would not trade the loving moments of mutual love and nurturing of our children for the world. What I do regret however is the suffering the children had to endure because of the “human” weaknesses of their parents.
On this day, I praise God for the good memories and the beautiful children and the peace and happiness I now have as a committed single person. Each and every day I am blessed as God fulfills my every need and continues the good work He began in me. I am His good and faithful servant and I want for nothing that I truly need.
Humans are weak and sometimes break their promises, but God is faithful forever. Just as God loves me and forgives my sins, showing me mercy and kindness, I too am called to do the same. I pray that my ex-husband is healthy and happy and I forgive his failings as my partner. More importantly, I forgive myself. 🙂
Could I and should I get an annulment? Probably 🙂 The marriage tribunal might say there was no covenant at the time we took our vows, but in my heart and in my soul, there will always be a covenant, one that I made with God and a man. I broke the vow with the man, but not with our children. God knows what is truly in my heart and that covenant with Him still exists. I am the matriarch of the family that was the result of that marriage so long ago.
The Sciencegranny is happy and I am at peace with my single status. I am not and will not be available for matrimony now or in the near future. I simply don’t need to be married to feel fulfilled, loved by God and others. My life is full and I want for nothing that I truly need. God provides for all. My trust is in Him.